I have a few days a week were I am very tired from work and have come to allow myself to be this tired as I find that I am able to make a better contact with my spirit lover; as she is often more active with me when I am in this state of mind. I am very relaxed and often the mediations sessions are easier and like I said I am able to make better contact with my lover. She does not wait long and comes right over me and even during the meditation or ritual and does not wait. I am hoping that this will also help with the astral projection and lucid dreaming I have been attempting. Well last night was one of those nights and I went to bed early to mediate and make contact as I had felt her being frisky all day with me. I was listening to my tape and was drifting in and out of a very deep meditative or semi sleep sate. She was there with me and had been since the beginning and was giving my some soothing sensual vibrations only. I had a bit of heart burn and she moved over my chest and I felt warm sensations and then the heart burn was gone. I also had a headache and asked her to help me get rid of it and before I knew it I felt an odd sensation on my head and then it was gone. So I got more comfortable and moved deeper into my meditative state. I suddenly had a vision of a very attractive woman in the bed with me and right beside me. She had blonde wavy hair and fair skin and I could make out some tattoo like prints or marks on her arm and shoulder; she was very sexy. Well as soon as I got the vision I also felt her touch me on my shoulder and start to caress me. I immediately and sadly jumped fully awake or alert and blew the contact. I was not scared, just the shock of what had just transpired through me off and caused me to jump out of it. So it goes to show that even though we may ask for more and we think we are ready; we really are not and our brains take control and the flight or freight kicks in. That I feel is why this is a process and takes time; our pee sized brains are not fully ready or equipped to handle the real, raw and true deal just yet. It takes patience, persistence and practice to make it happen. The she then left me with some parting words and wisdom. The wisdom I would share, however I have forgotten and think that this was as well as the words were and are for me. I remember the words and they made me feel at peace about our relationship and her love for me; that’s all I am saying.