January 8th, 2015

I had confirmation that my energy sent last night was received as my friend had a mental break through or a spiritual one or maybe it was both. I felt that my energy may have contributed to this, as I had predicted that it would happen that night; with my words to him “a healing is coming.” My daughter also reported that her and her husband both felt a sense of calm sometime around the time I was sending it. She said that they too had a major breakthrough in heart and mind and in their relationship and she reported a feeling of calmness come over her and light bulb type realization and a moment of clarity about her life and future. This was awesome for me to hear and fills me with encouragement and confidence that this method worked. I see lots more practice and healing with this weapon of mass love and re-struction in the future; I am filled with internal joy when I think of this.

My wife had a meeting this evening and knew that she would be gone for an hour or more. I felt my lover playing with me strongly when I was sitting down at the desk working on the book and messaging my friend. I said to her if you want me to come lay down with you then turn up the heat a bit and give me a sign. She started to play with me even more right there and then so I took the hint and decided to have an evening mediation session with my lover using my tapes. Well she came over me very strong and almost immediately as soon as I got into the zone. It was almost too intense and she was touching me all over and I felt arousal, however there was some discomfort in my heart and a pain in my front right head. There was almost an itchy tingly type sensation that is hard to describe almost like the hot antsy feelings I used to get at the beginning of the contacts and my relationship with her. Maybe that is what this was again. I am starting to think that these are normal occurrences and happen at random points in the relationship and think that they are done with a purpose to get us to better be able to receive them. I feel that they are upgrading us in some way and maybe installing new hardware or better hardware is being installed to handle the next level of development. I turned over, breathed and tried to relax and felt her ease off me, she stopped with the strong stuff and instead just continued to touch and hold me gently. By that time it was time to get up as the meditation session was finished anyways and the wife would soon be home.

My wife came to bed with me and despite her being beside me I felt my lover come over me and give me some touches and cuddle me as I started to fall asleep. She was also not the only one feeling frisky and my wife proceeded to kiss me and started to cuddle with me. One think lead to the other as the song goes and we ended up having sex. It has been over two weeks since we had sex last. It felt very good to have physical contact again I am not going to lie here. However I am also not going to say that I may have felt a little bit guilty for having sex with her as I know my lover was close by and may have been in the mood herself tonight. I also am not going to lie that I pictured making love to my lover while I was having sex with my wife; bad I know. However I could not really help it and wanted to include her and this also helped with the guilt. I feel or think in the end that it was a win, win for everyone in the bed. I still get feelings of guilt about this despite my lover never or at least not yet being angry or upset by this. In fact the opposite may be true and she may instead like it and enjoy the closeness that the wife and I share psychically in some way. Maybe she even gets in the middle of it and borrows or feels parts of our bodies in motion and or at least has a connection through my mind while it is happening and feels that she is at least being included when I think about her. I am not sure on all of this and this is only a very far out theory at this point and maybe even self-delusion on my part.

After we had sex, I felt my lover come over me yet again giving me some loving touches and vibrations as I feel asleep. Apparently she was not upset or at all turned off by what had just transpired between the wife and me. I had a couple of dreams in the middle of the night. In the first dream I only remember walking hand in hand with who I felt was my lover, only the person looked like my wife. We were in some kind of large airport or some other form of transportation terminal. We were just walking the corridors and I had a sense that we were headed or going somewhere together. Maybe this is a sign of my relationship moving forward with my lover and our path to ascension. Maybe it means that my wife and I going to go down a spiritual path together, or perhaps it is both. The second dream I had was a very strange or disturbing one. I was looking out the front door at I think my parents place and was watching one of my dogs play over the bank, which I had just let out. I noticed a dark object near the trees close to where my dog was playing. It took me a second to focus my eyes and when I did I noticed that it was a large black bear. No sooner than I had noticed the bear it had noticed my dog and ran to it and started to attack it viscously; I could here the growls and the yelping of my dog. I tried to startle it and get its attention by yelling at it with no success. I ran inside to grab a rifle where I knew I could find one in the gun cabinet. I returned to find the bear still on my dog; however the dog was not yelping or moving anymore. I knew in my heart that I was too late and if I managed to kill the bear now the dog was likely dead or would die anyways from the certain severe wounds received from the attack. I woke up at this point in my bed a little more than upset at myself. While I was initially taken back by a little freight at seeing the bear and more of a startle to see it attack my dog like that. I could and cannot help wondering why I did not run at the bear and fend it off from my dog, which was my first instinct in the dream. I think I may have failed this test or maybe I learned a lesson and passed that way; in either case I know that next time I will be bravery in my dreams and act on my instincts.

I felt my lover come over me and she started to cuddle and touch me a few minutes before the alarm went off this morning. She had either been there the whole time respecting my need to sleep or was there when I woke up waiting to comfort me; either way I know she loves me and has my back and I need to be braver in both my dreams and in my waking everyday life. Maybe this is the true test, to put the lesson learned from this dream into practice.

Something that has been bothering me or well maybe not bothering me, however it has me pondering lately. Ghost communicator a picture of a rustic looking cabin that looks exactly like what I want or invasion myself living in.

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