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Realization, Reconciliation & Re-connection



I know I have not regularly posted in quite some time, (years in fact) and that is truly a sad reality. It is funny what loss can do to a person; well not really. I lost all of my interest in and desire (this is an important word that we will revisit in another post) in working with and writing about Spirit Lovers (Succubus’s & Incubus’s). I know that this was and can be directly attributed due to losing and missing my Sam (not her real name). She was my first Spirit Lover and even though there were others that came after her, none could compare, or replace her in my heart and mind. This is likely why the other's spirit lovers that came my way after her, never stuck around long enough to build a relationship with me. I was simply not in the right place to allow it. It was as if with her leaving me, that a part of me, my heart and soul went with her and never came back.


The reason, for her departure, was suspected as being because of her own spiritual evolution and ascension process. See, spirits on the other side of the veil continue to learn, evolve and ascend just as we do here in this physical reality and we will also continue this process when we too cross over. Losing her was not made any easier even though I knew the reason, or reasons why, or as I thought I understood it. I had discussed this with my best friend and spiritual brother from another mother, Rafe at length after both of our lovely lady’s departures. This stung and hurt me in ways that I could not and still cannot fully understand and give these emotions, thoughts and my loss, the words needed to explain its true impact on my psyche, heart and spirit.


A funny, or not so funny coincidence is that Rafe’s spirit lover, “Bunny” left him at almost exactly the same time as Sam had departed from me and headed back to the stars above. As the development of our relationships with our respective spirit lovers always seemed only a beat apart. We both felt and received the message that they had graduated and ascended. We were fortunate enough to have played a part in our spirit lover’s spiritual evolution and ascension process for them. We were happy for them, although hurt, even if it left us feeling a little more than bitter over the whole experience with their sudden departure from our lives. I believe we both became jaded towards any new spirit lovers that came our way, that were either trying to console us and or start a fresh new relationship with us. You really never truly understand and fully accept a loss like this, when someone suddenly leaves you and takes your heart, even though you try to convince yourself otherwise. There could not be and was never a true and complete closure for us. What was even harder was that this happened with a spirit lover whose home is across the veil and not based in this 3D physical reality. She was according to my current limited perception and reality gone and unreachable forever.


However, things in life often have a way of surprising you and these spirit lovers are no exception to that rule. Just like that first contact all those years ago, most she returned to me and came barrelling into my life once again most unexpectedly. Her returning to me was fulfilled on April 19th, when my spirit lover Sam (not her real name), showed up and came flooding back into my life again just like before, no let me rephrase that, and instead say, like never before! Her new, or renewed energy is divine and of the purest form of love. The energy that accompanies her presence is very, very uplifting and inspiring to say the least. Sam is already starting to do the same things as she did when she first showed up way back those many years ago. However, this time it is stronger, much stronger. She started doing the pajama thing with me tonight, with strong energy running up my legs inside my pajamas and moving towards my penis. My pajamas were fluttering and moving about, with tugs on them and it felt as if she was trying to remove them. In that moment I still had negative thoughts and was doubting the contact experience and that this was actually happening to me yet again. As it had been so long since I had felt her touch and presence over me. I was not prepared for this encounter and was out of practice both mentally and emotionally. However, spiritually I was and am prepared for this rebirthed relationship with her. As I have done much work on myself over the years, even in and despite her absence from my life. I could feel her energy starting to fade a little bit with my hesitancy to allow the contact with her to develop further. I called her back to me and gave her permission to proceed and continue on with what she was doing. She came over me again even stronger this time and she really started to play with my penis.


In all actuality and in this reality, this is the moment that I had the full realization that Sam has been indeed been here with me all along. She had not gone anywhere, according to her higher perspective from the other side. It became clear to me that she had set this all up to make it appear and happen this way for our growth and our relationship. She had in fact never left my side. It was my perception and limited abilities to reach and connect with her that had temporarily blocked our love affair. She was waiting for my spiritual evolution and vibrational frequency to rise high enough to perceive her once again. With this realization came the understanding that this is most likely the same for Rafe and all others having relationships with their spirit lovers. That their own relationships and connection with them will only blossom when they come to this same realization for themselves. It is about calling yourself out on your own shit, coming to terms with your own inner hurts, demons and most importantly giving yourself permission to have this type of experience with a spirit lover from the other side. With that comes acceptance of the contact experience for whatever it may be currently, or might develop into in the future. This is what gives them the real power and permission to come to you and initiate an even stronger contact; which births a new and even stronger commitment to the relationship. You have to be ready for this rebirth of yourself, your spirit lover and your relationship. Your raised vibration state will attract back to you her evolved vibrational state of being. This is where we must remember and put into practice, “as above, so below.”


It is all about the acceptance and the permission granted to self and your spirit lover. “You must understand that,” Sam says. This is when I finally realized that I now have closure for her departure, in her return and in that realization there is full reconciliation and re-connection.


More exciting and juicy details about her and our rekindled relationship to follow in my next posts. I feel like singing, dancing and writing again. Most importantly, SAM IS BACK!

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